Why?

From the time we are little children, we ask the question WHY? Hello! I’m Stefan Sojka, with the final lesson of term number three. “Why” you ask…. Because I paid for it and I’m going to do it, and what’s more, you’re going to watch it. And yes, you have my deepest sympathy. Why do we drive on the left and Americans on the right? Why haven’t I mastered the following techniques – news reading, interviewing, ad-libs, commercial sells, voiceovers, page turning, writing short and unboring scripts, weather, reading from the auto-cue, turning up on time, prerecording all my shows, rehearsing my scripts 20 times, not chatting in class, not eating in class, voting liberal, sitting up straight, not tilting my head and raising my eye brows like the Spit Bridge, and many other techniques that I should have perfected over the last three terms?? Why?

Why doesn’t everything come out the way I want it to? Why aren’t I a millionaire? Questions, questions, questions!!! And here lies the basis for tonight’s program… WHY WHY WHY.

Before we hurtle head-long down the road to philosophical enlightenment, I thought I’d bring you up to date with my progress so far. From all those WHY’s I just asked, you’d think I was getting nowhere fast here at the Academy, and you’d be right! However, progress is being made. The simple act of doing this course each week, has, over time, been transforming me as a person and as a TV presenter.

I am ironing out some of the glaringly bad problems, such as rushing, sing-song delivery and head bobbing, and I am getting more and more comfortable sitting here in front of the camera. My writing is improving, my creativity is expanding, and I am slowly but surely beginning to see the glimmer of a real media personality starting to shine through the thick smog of un-professionalism on which my career has slowly been choking to death for the last 37 years. Thanks to Max’s undying support and encouragement, and the support of my classmates, that’s you, I am making progress.

So, back to the topic at hand. WHY? Why are all fast food outlets, junk food outlets? Why, after all we know about how dangerous cigarettes are, are they still in the most absolutely prominent display position in service stations, newsagents, supermarkets and grocery stores around the world? Why do all the rich countries condemn violence of any sort, yet they allow their factories to manufacture land mines and machine guns for sale to the very same people whose actions they condemn?

Why are computers so user unfriendly? Why do food products that are 5% fat tell us that they are 95% fat free? Why do we wipe up spilt tea with a dish cloth, and dry the dishes with a tea towel?

Why do policemen love to bash people on the head and jab them in the guts with truncheons? And why do people who know what policemen are like, still line up to cop a good hiding?

Why do politicians always express the opinion they think will be the most popular opinion, no matter which side of politics they come from? And if so, why are political parties divided up into left and right in the first place? Why is there such a thing as interest?

Why did everybody conveniently forget that the tradition of the Olympic torch was invented by the Nazi’s to celebrate Aryan supremacy at the 1936 Berlin Olympics? And Why were the Sydney games called the Games of the New Millennium, when everybody knows damn well that the year 2000, the 2000th year, is the last year of the old millennium? The 2000th year has to end before the 1st year of the next lot of 1000 years, the year 2001, can begin. So Why not “Sydney 2000, the last games of the old Millennium”? Too honest? Too real? Too true? Why??

Why do dead animals smell so bad? Why do fools fall in love? Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are people so unkind? Why can’t we all just get along? Tell me Why tell me why tell me why, why can’t we live together??….

Together? Why doesn’t the bible, or the Koran, mention anything about the Internet? Why is the sky blue? So many questions and so few answers?

After the next commercial, we’ll be back with more probing questions in this TV three special, “WHY?”

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********CUT*******

Welcome back to this week’s special episode of “WHY” the programme where we ask the questions, and our guests get further and further from the answers.

I’d like to welcome my first guest tonight _________________

Why Why Why Why Why.

Thank you to our special guests this evening on another groundbreaking instalment of WHY. Join us at the same time next week, when we bring you another exciting episode of WHY, and we ask the question WHY. WHY?…. well…. We’re not sure really… it sounded like a great idea when we were pitching it to the station executives, but now that you really think about it… the concept really sucks….

This term has flown by so quickly and I hope you gained as much pleasure out of sharing in the programmes with me, as I gained from knowing you were down there watching them. Until next week, when I commence term number four, this is Stefan Sojka, wishing you, good night.