Free Form

Hi there and welcome once again – it’s good to have your company for another installment of Sojka-Delic Wednesday – I’m Stefan Sojka, and we’ve got a good show lined up for you tonight, because this week is lesson 38, and it’s a free form. None of those stodgy old formulas that work so well in radio – no we’re going out on a limb tonight, we’re going to try to be different, break with tradition, think outside the square. I’ve put a lot of time into this… How’s this for a line-up? I hope you’re ready for it…. After a time call, I’m going to do – the news! But wait. After the news – the weather, and….. a short 30 second voice over commercial, Then - I’ll comment on the news headlines, crossing over to a traffic report and… as if that isn’t enough to freak you out, I’ll be playing the secret sound, later on – which has jackpotted to $2,000.00. It’s all coming up in the show tonight, I hope you can stay with me – It’s going to be cool, it’s going to be different, this is a radio revolution!! And I am revolting!

FEEL YOUR HEAD

The human genome project has just published 100 pages worth of its findings about the genetic make up of us homosapiens and it seems we are not so special after all. On a genetic level, 40% of what makes up a human is identical to what makes up a worm. And a fruit fly shares 60% of our genes! In fact there is only 1% of our genetic makeup that is not shared by any other animal. We are a mere tiny extension of the tree of life, no more unique than, say, an octopus. Another discovery is that genetic differences among one race of people are actually greater than the genetic differences between races.

INSIST ON LOVE

They also found that our DNA is filled with garbage – a whole bunch of old genetic combinations that sit there like unused system files on your computer – they were once vital in our evolution but are no longer needed, but still take up nearly half of the entire genome.
Personally, I think it’s time to resurrect some of our unused genes, for example, our recessive gene of the garden snail MT886, that would have us copulating non-stop for three weeks at a time in one continuous orgasm, or the blowfly gene RZ984, that would allow us to finally appreciate the fine and subtle aromatic fragrances of doggie-do.

The time is now _____________

NEWS JINGLE

Here is the 2MR news, I’m Stefan Sojka..

Twenty Tiny tap dancers who tapped to a bright light tune, were killed today when the mini bus they were traveling in rolled down a steep embankment near the Galston Gorge. The dancers were returning from the Wisemans Ferry music festival, when the Driver, Teddy, apparently lost control of the vehicle. Police investigations have revealed that he may have been in an emotional state at the time of the accident, and not in a fit state to drive, after the dancers routine went horribly wrong that afternoon. Eye witnesses to the accident said they heard the driver yelling out the words, Tap, Tap Dip! Moments before the mini bus went toppledy toppledy bangity bangity crash crash thump, thumpety thumpety thump, tumble tumble boom! At the bottom of the ravine.

JENNIFER FEVER

Welcome back to Sojkadelic Wednesdays, I’m Stefan Sojka, and it’s time now to play our secret sound!! This week, the sound has jackpotted to $2,000.00 with no winners now for ten weeks. We really want to give the money away here, so call me on 131241 if you think you know what it is. OK I’ll play the sound for you now,… here we go…..

SOUND #27
Yes, It’s a tough one, I know, but someone’s got to get it right… here it is again.

SOUND #27

If you think you know what it is, give us a call on 131 241. Back after this tune…

SWEET ANGEL

I had my first glimpse of Stardom on the Weekend, when I appeared in the telemovie My Husband, My Killer” on Channel 10. Yes, I had special guest role as one of the 150 extras at the funeral. You have to hit the pause button at just the right spot, and squint a lot, but there I am, in resplendent Technicolor, looking terribly bereaved. The pained expression on all our faces was made so much easier by the food poisoning the caterers gave us for lunch that day. I think the director might have had a hand in that little scheme, because the scene really worked….

HEY YEAH

This is 2MR with another free form show, and I’m running out of ideas. I can’t understand why… I love free form shows. Every time I have one to write I get all excited, I spend all week working on it. And I work hard, too. I start off with a couple of straight scotches to loosen up the grey matter. I blow big fat joint, have another scotch, then I go to town for some inspiration. I’ll hit the clubs, score some ecckies, a bit of speed (coke if I can get it), and dance under the hypnotic lights in a blissed out trance state for a few hours. I head off to a chill-out zone, snort the last of my speed, then call my bikie friends to score some pure LSD. Trip out for a couple of days in worlds I never dreamed of, come down with another couple of scoobies, crack open a bottle of champers to really take the time to celebrate the whole experience. I do this again Friday, Saturday, Sunday – with extra speed, because I’m at the day club at the Greenwood. Monday and Tuesday I’m a bit more kinda headspacey, you know, just more acid, dope and mushies and then I wake up Wednesday morning filled with elation at the week that has been, the week of unbridled open-mindedness and mystical journeying into the subconscious, preparing for my free form script and I just can’t explain it, but when I go to write my show, my mind’s blank!!! You do everything right all week, and then you get writers block. Am I cursed or what??!!

Well no chance of writers block next week, because I’m out of rehab, and straight into a first term formula! The essentials of any good radio announcers repertoire packed into one dynamic show. I hope you can join me. All the music in tonight’s show was performed by yours truly. I’ll see you again next week!! Good night.