Envisioning a Different Future

Here we will have fun looking ahead at the possibilities for our future. In eras gone by people have always liked to projetc what life may be like in the future. We look back at those predictions with mirth, wondering how could they have been so deluded. Well now is the time for us to set ourselves up for future ridicule as we vainly guess someone else's future..

Predictions for the future…

Computers will soon be able to churn out entire music and voice recordings in whatever style is programmed in and they will sound like real people singing and playing their instruments. Essentially the world will be swamped by an infinite collection of songs, even to the point of having the listener control the music as it is being created to make it more uplifting, more melancholy or whatever. It will be much harder for record sompanies to sell personality-driven music, when music will be totally controlled by the personality of each listener. Already computers have been programmed to write music indistinguishable from Mozart. It is only a matter of time before this technology also adopts the sonic quality and nuance of actual performances and lyrics, based on criteria of what people like to hear.

In order to end our communal guilt over how much suffering hjumanity has endured at the hands of sadists and killers, we will breed a special race of genetically modified people who actually love pain and death, so that anyone with the slightest murderous urge can simply hunt them down and slaughter them, and know that they are doing a good deed. The more sadistic the killing, the more they will enjoy it. It will be perfect for relieving stress after a hard day at the office.

Cars will evolve more and more in line with natural evolution from what they are like now. At present, cars are kind of like single celled creatures, rushing around the arteries and capillaries of our cities. I predict that technology will enable us to design and build huge insect-like cars, using super-lightweight electro-mechanical muscles, that scurry around on six or eight legs, using cameras and radar for navigation, while we relax inside. We will live in them as well as travel around in them. There will be no more need for houses. Property prices will plummet. Roads will no longer need upkeep, because they can cross terrain simply by stepping over it - no more need for straight smooth asphalt tracks.

The porn industry will go totally interactive, and anyone will be able to have fully immersive sexual experiences with anyone they like, both real and/or virtual, with the aid of electrified pleasure suits and interactive media technology. This will fundamentally change our notion of monogamy. A great outcome of this trend will be that women will no longer be seen as sex objects – because men will actually be having sex – with objects.

Banks will no longer exist, because everyone will finally realise that they don’t actually do anything.

Elections will be done on-line, but people will still choose the party that offers them $10 a week more in their pay packet.

The average age of a pop star will drop to 15 …. Months.

And RSL clubs across the land will continue to hold their Tuesday lunchtime senior citizens day concerts, only instead of Ian Turpie singing Unchained melody, while the audience sips shandy, you’ll have DJ Busta Funk and the Hip Hop Housemasters pumping out the Hi NRG grooves, while the little old ladies do lines of speed on the tables, sit there eating cabbage and prunes, occasionally throwing their hands in the air, showing their wrinkly arm band tattoos, and rusty old belly-button rings, and lamenting how their grand children just don’t understand.